It's not you, it's me - Continued

I interviewed for a job at Insight for Living.  The interview went very well and they asked if I would return for another.  The second time they asked me to leave my portfolio so they could show some of the managers.  I was asked to come back and interview with a top manager.  I thought it was a very comfortable and positive meeting  (A friend who used to work for them said that was a very good sign).

I never heard from them again.  I followed up several times, then I stopped bugging them, they still had my portfolio.  Finally, several weeks later, I asked if I could get my portfolio, they seemed to have forgotten all about it.  I entered the lobby of their beautiful offices, wishing very much to work there, unceremoniously picked up my portfolio from an unconcerned receptionist and made the long lonely walk to the parking lot.  They made no attempt to contact me.  No attempt to say we're sorry, you didn't get the job or you stink - nothing.

It's the lack of communication that doesn't sit well.  Like a girlfriend who dumps you with no reason.  It made me feel so small, worthless.  I've moved on and have a nice career as a graphic designer & photographer, but I have to admit - the "what if" has a place in the deep dark corners of my mind.  I suppose I should be glad not to have been hired by a company that treats people that way, but I feel like it's something I did or said wrong.  The problem is, I have no idea what it was, not a clue.

The curious part of myself is why don't I think, "It's their loss," or "They made a mistake."  The tiny little haunt is, what did I do wrong...

It's not you, it's me.