Self esteem has been on my mind. I've learned my self esteem largely comes from the outside, others have a lot to do with what I think of myself. I've also learned, many, perhaps most, get self esteem from within themselves. For the sake of this entry, I'll refer to these two groups as internals and externals.
There's a difference between self confidence and self esteem. Many externals are performers with the confidence to entertain, which is where they get their self esteem. In thinking about this, both internals and externals have introverts and extraverts.
An external is sensitive to others because they understand they have some control over how one feels about oneself.
An internal is more stable, what someone thinks of them has little to do with what they think of themselves.
I'm thinking out loud more than proposing a theory or tenet.
I've always had low self esteem. This is due partially to a quagmire of arrogance versus humility (I have a fear of being arrogant). I'm very fortunate to have many, many, encouragers in my life, but one negative comment erases a thousand compliments. I have a good amount of confidence, but the voice inside cuts and tears.
Self esteem has been on my mind, I'd like to hear your thoughts, experiences and insights.
Perhaps I'm completely off base and this has nothing whatsoever to do with self esteem.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteIt is interesting how we set up a balance and err on the side we are most comfortable managing.
To me, striking the balance requires honesty. False humility and damaging low self esteem are not the way to go - just as arrogance and over confidence pave a road to disaster.
I wonder if our self esteem really needs to be founded on a kernael that is our creator within us. It is hard to be overly critical of that foundation, or falsely humble. It is also hard to be overly proud as this foundation is not of our own making.
I think it is a very tricky road to rely too much on what others think to set the foundation - but it is helpful to use others as a mirror and sometimes as a difficult light shining in an area we did not wish to look. This helps us refine and grow.
My take on this is that self esteem comes from the kernel of God or whatever you think your creator is, that image of God and spark of life you had nothing to do with building. From that spark, it is hard to be too proud or falsely self depricating. Once this foundation is solid we grow a self worth that has merit on top - slowly but surely.
You Mr. Hetrick are a genius and have been one of those lights and mirros for me. Keep writing.
Greg
Thank you Greg, well said. It helps me understand intellectually, but I'm not very good at the application.
ReplyDeleteYou're an inspiration.
Thank you, again.
Hi Jerry
ReplyDeleteApplication prowess comes with experience including trial and error - keep trying is my motto
gg